May 29, 2022, 23:02 | Business
It is not so difficult to guess that money is the same energy that can be controlled.
"You live beyond your means!", – every time I pay for the road (according to my ideas) thing, this favorite phrase of my mother sounds like a trumpet of Jericho in my head. A suffocating cloud of guilt covers me. However, I usually buy the thing anyway, and then I often doubt whether I did the right thing. At the same time, I know very well where the legs of my habit of parting with money come from. Each of us has our own, unique model of relationship with them, informs Ukr.Media.
In Freud's opinion, whether you are a spendthrift or a miser depends on what kind of relationship you had with the pot in your early childhood. The age when we are accustomed to it – between one and a half and three years – in psychoanalysis is called the anal stage of personality development. It is believed that these emotions are recorded in our subconscious and are directly related to how we will treat money in adulthood.
Children whose parents too diligently, with scandals, accustom them to the potty, will later lose money. Psychoanalysts call it "anal-expulsive" character, when a person believes that only by constantly giving away what is dear to you, you can earn love. Another option "anally-retaining" character, when as a sign of protest against parental pressure, the child will refuse to go to the toilet, and when he grows up, it will be extremely difficult to part with money. But these are still extremes.
Our wallet is also affected by the environment in which we grow. Commands to “live within our means'', “we don't draw money'' and "we don't have a printing press at home" – you have probably heard these expressions. Another attitude, extremely firmly stuck in my subconscious – I often heard it from my mother – “there is no money now''. As a child, I did not need anything, but there was no financial stability. My mother, an artist, did not have a regular salary and could sit without work for months, and my father, who received much more than the average Soviet salary, spent a lot on entertainment. large sums, but there was no sense of confidence in the future. And in the early 1990s, when my parents lost their jobs and there was almost no money in the family, I had a fully realized fear of poverty. In addition to everything else, we then, succumbing to mass advertising, transferred most of our savings to the financial pyramid and, of course, lost everything.
I started working from the first year of the institute, but the more I earned, the more I was afraid of running out of money. I behaved with money in an anxious-compulsive manner: I tried my best to save, and when I had to spend, I felt panic. I associated the process of earning money with hard work. It seemed to me that it was worth loosening the control, as the poor would immediately come to heel.
But in a certain moment – now it is difficult for me to remember which one – everything changed. It is possible that sessions with a psychotherapist, a renewed relationship with my father, or a meeting with the right woman helped – but one way or another, I let go of the fear and the money itself. I began to learn to part with them (spend, lend, just give) – first without panic, and then – with pleasure. Once, five or six years ago, my friend and I were sitting in a restaurant by the sea. A friend who grew up in a wealthy family in the USA always parted with money very easily, and he treated me like a mentor: he always paid for me.
That night we drank a bottle of expensive whiskey, ate lobster each, and then I paid the bill without even looking at the amount. The friend was amazed. This was probably the first time when I consciously and joyfully parted with money. And then, when I finally realized that being afraid of poverty is a waste of energy, money flowed into my life. It was as if a mysterious valve had opened inside. I began to attract rich people, friends began to behave differently, and the world itself seemed to give me more. I realized that money energy, just like creative energy, can be managed.
Here are some secrets tested by my own experience:
Money they don't like to be picked on
In this sense, they are like women. Therefore, they should be treated accordingly. Do not be afraid of them, sincerely love and respect them, but do not consider them an end in themselves and the only meaning of life.
Money loves those who love it, but, first of all, it loves yourself
"The amount of money is directly proportional to the amount of self-respect. Each person has exactly as much money as he is willing to have.
"I want and it stings" — many of us, including me, have this unconscious model of relationship with money. We want to be rich, but for various reasons deep down we are afraid of it. Or we think that we are not worthy of big money, and therefore subconsciously we do not allow ourselves to have it. Or we think that wealth is evil, dangerous, a vice, excessive responsibility (perhaps one of our parents liked to say that “you can't earn money with honest work'', that “money spoils people'' and that "everything has to be paid for").
One way or another, each of us has our own attitudes about money, and there is a good chance that some of them block the growth of our well-being. Therefore, think about what governs your relationship with money and whether you are internally ready to change these beliefs.
To begin with, it is worth answering the following questions as honestly as possible: what is the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word “money”? And when they say "a lot of money"? What do I associate wealth with? What emotions do I feel at the same time – fear, excitement, joy, shame, discomfort? If fear, then what am I afraid of? What is my current money bar and where did this figure come from? Is this really all I need or do I wish I was richer? Why do I feel like I can't have more money? Where did these limitations come from?
Money loves direction and perspective
They are just a means to achieve goals. The clearer and more desirable your goals are, the better you know what you will spend on, the more motivation there is in monetary energy. Don't be afraid to think big and it will wake up and flow in your direction.
Money loves drive
Among my acquaintances there are very wealthy people. Some of them are those who created their capitals from scratch. They are all similar: they have drive, they like to live, they have huge reserves of energy, they always have big plans and even grander dreams. They are not afraid to take risks, easily spend and give away, although they naturally count money.
Money does not like to be worried about it
"Fear is one of the main causes of money problems. Moreover, it manifests itself in three ways: the first is concern about the lack of money. The second is the fear of losing money. The third is the fear of big money.
Watch how often you complain that you are underpaid, that you have to save every penny, or that you fear for your savings. This is how you send negative emotions into space, and this can block the flow of money in your direction.
Money loves when it is easily released
It is better to lend the amount that you are ready to part with irrevocably. When you let this amount go forever, it increases the flow of money energy in your direction. It is possible that the money will return to you – perhaps in larger quantities.