I'm beginning to think it's some kind of disease.
< p>I have not been a little girl for a long time. I am 33 years old and married with two children. Nothing special at first glance. Children like children & hellip; A man like a man. Only the constant trips of a loved one disturb me a bit, but he assures me that I worry unnecessarily. Only a loved one brings money to our family. We already have solid debts and loans.
Probably the most problematic of all characters in our family. M & oacute; j my husband is a stickler and I am a terrible mess. Eventually, we were influenced by different ways of upbringing. I grew up in a family where cleanliness was not the most important thing, and my husband grew up with a very picky mother. Incidentally, she doesn't visit us. M & oacute; wi, he hates the mess in our house. I do not insist too much, because I understand that the hostess is like me. Even though I try to cook, I keep an eye on the children. But everything must be under the strict control of the husband. After all, if it's not there, I can get my flat so dirty in a few days that I can barely wash the dirt off.
I've never had perfect order. For two months I haven't been able to understand the lock in the kitchen. I think it's all because of my strange state. Recently, I am in a terrible mood, yelling at the children, patting them on the back, I rarely clean, I do not go out for weeks, I just lie down and rebuke myself for being a bad mother.
Additionally, I have problems with my figure. But I can't start losing weight. For this reason, I don't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, or do anything. It just sues me cool. I understand that this is not normal, I try to force something, but with each month and year it gets worse. I am still very afraid that I will become like my mother (she has an amazing pigsty at home).
Recently, I even thought it was a strange disease. Maybe hereditary.
While I seem to be complaining a bit, they say you just have to get up and start changing something. But I can't do that. I feel constant fear and anxiety. And all I have to do is blame myself for being angry. I understand that it is impossible to live like this. But I can't find a way out. Has anyone had something like this? What are you advising me to do?