My mother never wanted to help me take care of my own grandchildren and it upset me a lot, because I can hardly deal with two children who need constant care and supervision.
I have no idea why my mother started acting this way. We are most likely ashamed to ask something now, because since I left her at the age of eighteen, we have completely stopped communicating. And now, when I call her in the hope that she will support me or just listen, my mother, after two minutes of the phone call, tells me that she has to go somewhere and has important plans of her own.
Even when I was a teenager, she wanted to make me a completely independent person, but I think that is not entirely right, because at the age of eighteen, when I left home, it took a lot of effort to find a job and pay for a small one-room rented apartment because I needed to live somewhere.
The reason my mom keeps refusing to spend time with my children is because of the men. At this age, it's not too late to look for a spouse, in some ways I even understand her, but when it takes all the time it's completely abnormal. The grandchildren want to see their grandmother very much, but each time they come up with new excuses not to visit me.
Once again, when she refused to visit me, I couldn't take it and yelled at her because I couldn't take it anymore. At this age, you can already sit with your grandchildren and not look for a retired spouse. The mother was not silent either, and replied that she had plowed and raised children all her youth every day, and that now she should have time for herself, which she did not have ten years ago. And grandchildren, according to her, should not hang on to grandma.
Of course, my mother can be understood, because in fact she paid a lot of attention to me in her youth, but even now, when she goes on dates with men every day, it doesn't mean that he has to leave the family and completely stop communicating with everyone. Recently, I have started to notice more and more that my mother treats me somewhat cold and each time she avoids meetings more and more. We see each other once a month for the last two years.
I don't need her to spend all her old age with me, but why is it so hard to come to visit at least once a week instead of sitting at a party for a day? . I don't want to lose touch with someone close to me. How can I tell her that the meaning of life isn't just about dating different guys near retirement age.
I'm already thinking that we don't argue anymore, it would be better if she found a soul mate and was happy and then we will develop a relationship with her.