FILE. Education for emotional, relational and sexual life: “A child is not a Playmobil®”, according to Ingrid Lebeau, trainer

Ingrid Lebeau intervient dans les établissements scolaires en matière d'éducation sexuelle depuis 10 ans. Midi Libre – EVA TISSOT

Ingrid Lebeau is a trainer in sexual, relational and emotional education in the Occitanie region. She works in schools to train teachers, educate children, and through her University of Parents, to help them support their offspring as accurately as possible in all areas of life.

You provide teaching in sexual education and training in national education and for parents. What do you think of the project?

I approve of it 100%. It consolidates our awareness and prevention work. To support parents and people in educational situations, I created an online training course to provide the basics of their role in the emotional, relational and sexual education of children.

The text is the subject of an offensive by parents who are behind petitions, from conservative circles. What do you think about it?

In early childhood, we don't have to deal with sexuality, I agree. There is a lot of confusion. Talking about sexuality does not mean talking about sexual relations. We have to build consent. What do we say yes to, what do we say no to. This is done through speech. Children and adore are attracted to anything that is forbidden. They want to go and see what this prohibition hides.

What are the needs?

In early childhood, we are curious. A child is not a Playmobil® or a Barbie®. It is important to teach them the words of adults, scientists, because it is about anatomy, like a knee! Yes, they have an apricot or a willy, but when people they trust can name these parts as pubis or penis, it reassures them. The fewer answers they have, the more they try to find them by putting themselves in the picture, lifting the skirt of one, playing with the buttocks of another. When things are not “de-eroticized” by an adult, they remain an object of fantasy. Where there is a mystery, the child seeks to know. This has nothing to do with so-called encouragement of masturbation or transition!

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The associations say that it is not the role of the school, but of the parents.

They are right, but for the 15 years that I have been working on this support, I have noticed that they are not always in the best position. We cannot limit this education to coercive attitudes. We must guide the child in his feelings because they are not to be experienced in a playground, by being abusive. If we do not explain to him the difference between private and public, he can put himself in danger. Parents obviously cannot talk about their own sexuality to the child, it is a fundamental and fair taboo.

Where to place the cursor?

Some react out of fear that the programs would be providers of debauchery and lust, starting in kindergarten; others think that school has a place that is granted to it. And schools should return this role to parents. I have been working in schools for over 10 years, as a trainer, sometimes following a call for help from establishments that find themselves faced with situations that they cannot manage.

For example?

Because children hide to play doctor naked! A child is built by modeling, by speech, by simple, guilt-free and liberating words. Since humanity has existed, sensory cells have been located mainly at the level of the genitals. That's how it is. Before the age of 6, we are focused on our own body and our sensations. At 7, we open up to others.

universitédeparents.com

 

Testimonials: “Talking without taboos”

“I wear two hats, a high school sex education trainer and a mother,” explains Corinne, a SES teacher in Hérault. “I took part in the parents' university (read above), because I was wondering how to support my daughter and son who are 10 and 5 years old. At the time, they were 4 years and 12 months old. In these workshops, in groups, we discussed sexuality from zero to adolescence.” She learns a lot from her shortcomings! “We realize how ignorant we are about psycho-emotional development, about all these essential and “normal” phases. We talk about sexuality with our children, not about sexual intercourse. “That's how she supports her little ones, “by naming the parts of the body, its transformation.” The answers provided avoid “conflict situations,” she says. At the high school where she teaches, there is a lot of talk about “contraception, abortion, consent.” She now understands that giving her children reassurance on the subject of sex, on the limits to set, “what is normal, what is not,” has given her reassurance as a parent. “It's super open, we talk without taboos, about everything. A child who has no answer to a question may fall into violence, without knowing it”.
Sandra, mother of two boys aged 10 and 11 in Aveyron, points out “the lack of resources to train specialists in national education”. A program is essential, “but be careful with the implementation, with my sons, I prefer to take care of that and the eldest does not have this maturity yet. Not all children have the same sensitivity, at the same age”.

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