“Je consacrais mes nuits et mon temps libre à la pornographie”. Midi Libre – SYLVIE CAMBON
During a conference held on Friday, January 17 in Montpellier, Simon spoke about twenty years of a very strong addiction and how the Dasa fraternity allowed him to regain control of his life.
“From the age of 12 to 33, I was addicted to sex and pornography, explains Simon*, now 36. That was all I thought about. I devoted my nights and free time to pornography. I slept very little. I was very dependent on online dating. And I was attracted to people who were also addicted.”
This addiction didn't give him a moment of respite. “As soon as I passed someone in the street, I had a little bike that started pedaling in my head. And I couldn't touch someone without it being sexual. With Covid, I went crazy because I no longer had contact with people. I could no longer hide my addiction. That's when my boyfriend noticed. He called my mother who found the Dasa group.”
“I socialized to glean love”
“I went there four years ago and I met people who had similar stories to mine. But they seemed good, they were laughing, while I was really bad. Everyone could testify if they wanted to and no judgment was made. It was by talking to them that I learned to have normal relationships with people. Before, I socialized to glean love. I discovered that I had spent my life wanting to please others. I had grown up with the idea that I had to be perfect. I had to put myself back at the center of my life. After a few months, I started to be happy.”
200% Deposit Bonus up to €3,000 180% First Deposit Bonus up to $20,000“Since I joined Dasa, I have never felt alone again. And I have not consumed pornography anymore, while I had never managed to stop for more than two nights. And I started sleeping again.”
A twelve-step recovery program
Originally from the United States, Dasa appeared in France in the 1990s, and around thirty groups exist there today. Some are in person, like the one in Montpellier created a year ago, others by videoconference.
The groups are free to access, with each member free to contribute financially.
Dasa people often suffer from multiple addictions (alcohol, tobacco, drugs, etc.) as well as anxiety-depressive impulses.
“The desire to end one's addictive behaviors is the only condition for becoming a member”, it is stated on the Dasa website.
The fellowships (the name of the groups) offer a 12-step recovery program, similar to that of Alcoholics Anonymous.
The first step is to admit one's powerlessness “in front of our emotional and sexual dependence”. Many refer to a “spiritual power” or to “God”. The twelfth step evokes a “spiritual awakening”.
40 questions to test your dependency
On its website, Dasa offers to answer 40 questions to find out if you are emotionally or sexually dependent. The first is: “Have you ever tried to control the frequency of your sexual relations or your meetings with a given person??”
The last question: ? “Have you ever thought that you could get more out of your life if you were not so driven by your sexual or romantic quests??”
“The awareness of your emotional and sexual dependence is an awareness that only you can make”, says Dasa.
Info: https://dasafrance.fr/
“I tell newcomers to have no shame”
“I am still a sex addict but I am no longer attracted to addicted people. I often say that I am perfectly imperfect. And I do not expect people to be perfect either. My only goal is to get better a little more. All the time I used to spend pleasing others, I now have for myself.”
“I have taken up service for the fraternity for a few years and have become the godfather (“one who gives his enlightenment”) of godchildren. I give back to Dasa this that he gave me. To the new arrivals, I tell them: “Don't be ashamed, everything you could have done, I did it”. They know that they benefit from a safe space.”
All this creates brotherhood. “I lost my mother last November. At the funeral, my entire Dasa group was there.”
(*) The first name has been changed I subscribe to read the rest