Islam Idhair’s Lesson of Hope

Mathieu Carbasse In Egypt

Published at 0h00

• Middle East

Islam Idhair had just gotten home from work on October 21, 2023, when the worst happened.

“Fifteen minutes after I got home, our house was targeted by an Israeli raid. I heard the explosion. Boom! Boom! I looked up and saw the ceiling collapse.”

Afterwards, total darkness.

“I was buried. I couldn’t see anything. I thought it was over. I was fully conscious, but I couldn’t breathe. I started eating sand to get some air. Once, twice, three times. By the fourth time, I could no longer swallow the sand mixed with the rubble, my throat hurt.”

In the courtyard of the French Institute in Egypt, in Cairo, Islam relives every second of this moment that he calls a miracle. But a miracle that cannot be shared. Because, that day, his four children and his nephew lost their lives, suffocated under the rubble.

“I remember feeling someone grab my hand that was sticking out of the rubble. 'It's moving!' Then people started digging, digging, digging. When I saw the rays of the sun, I heard them say to me: 'You're still alive, Islam. This is not a dream. Come on, resist.'” »

Islam had wounds all over his body and was bleeding profusely.

« I went to the hospital. My wife, Heba, too. I kept asking the question, “Where are my children?”. No one would answer me. And then, one by one, my children arrived. »

The emotion is still raw, Islam’s throat tightens.

« Aws, the youngest, who was 5 years old, arrived. The doctors came to see me: “We’re sorry, Islam, he’s dead.” »

Islam Idhair usually smiles a lot behind his glasses, which give him a slightly intellectual look. This time, the smile fades. Tears well up in his eyes. He pauses, takes a deep breath, and continues his story.

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“Then Andalus arrived, same thing: ‘dead’. Then Eman, 12, ‘dead’. One by one… and then at the end, Ayman. Until now, I can't describe my feelings when I saw them arrive one by one at the hospital. But dead.”

Photo: Photo provided by Islam Dhair Islam Dhair with his wife and the four children he lost in the bombings

Molière, Camus, Zola

A French-speaking journalist and co-founder of the Gaza en français website and the Gaza la vie YouTube channel, Islam Idhair worked for many French-language media in Gaza before the war.

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“French and I have a long history, because I don’t like the French language, I love the French language. When you live in the Gaza Strip under the blockade, you are in an open-air prison. So, for me, the French language was a window onto freedom,” he says today.

Islam began learning French in 2004 at El-Aqsa University under the guidance of Professor Ziad Medoukh, a well-known figure in Gaza, a professor, but also a writer and poet.

During this period, he read a lot, particularly the classics of French literature. Molière for comedy. He also quotes Camus, Balzac and Zola.

“Many French-speaking friends called me after October 21. They told me: “Islam, you are not alone. You have lost a lot, but you have a lot left. You have three treasures. Your wife, your French language and your French-speaking friends.” “

There is no question for him, then, of giving up, of refusing this new life which is offered to him, far from the land which saw him born.

Photo: Photo provided by Islam Dhair Islam Dhair's house after the bombing

“Breaking the circle of violence”

He left Gaza with his wife and settled in Cairo. Thanks to his connections in the French media, he was sponsored by a training center for journalists, L'Onde Porteuse, which offered him a job and accommodation in France, in Clermont-Ferrand. The visa application has been filed.

What is this energy that guides him, despite the incessant nightmares and the pain in his head? Despite also the failing mental health of Heba, a mother and a broken woman who does not want to hear about life anymore. For now.

Heba is plunged into mourning. She learns French to hold on to something and prepare for the future. Islam would like more children, but Heba is not ready.

“I may have lost my four children, but I have not lost hope. It is hope that encourages me to continue my life. I hope to rebuild my life, to have children again, to think about another life,” he replies, emphasizing the “re” when we talk to him about the future.

This text is part of our Perspective section.

And above all, don’t talk to him about revenge, even if he would have a lot to say about the blockade and Israel’s intentions regarding Gaza and the West Bank.

“What's the point? ? Will my children come back? ? No. On the contrary, there will be other mothers and fathers who will have the same wounds as mine. We need people who break the cycle of violence, who talk about peace more than war, about tolerance more than provocation.”

For Islam, there is only one option that counts: peace, “just peace.”

This report was funded with support from the Transat International Journalism Fund-Le Devoir.